*Just a warning, there is a picture of her coffin after it was closed*
I went down to North Carolina with my Aunt, Uncle and Arianna. We left for NC about 7am (from my Aunts house....but Arianna and I had to leave Cleveland around 5:30 to get there by 7....), and arrived in NC about 4:30pm. We had a visit with my parents and met Meghan there with my nieces, nephews, friends... I was pretty tired, but really enjoyed seeing everyone I hadn't seen since last year, or in some cases, years. (Or in a couple, meeting for the first time) I wasn't sure if I was going to stay with Jonathan and his wife Ashley, or with Meghan, but in the end, I stayed with Meghan. That night, after hugging my parents goodbye extra tight, Meghan, Arianna and myself headed down to SC, with my nephew Jason, niece Melissa, and her friend Deandre. Made a late night Taco Bell stop, watched Jason and Deandre set off fireworks, and generally just hung out and laughed. Best first night ever. I had found out earlier that evening that before the funeral, there is a family viewing of Liz at the funeral home. I guess it's silly I didn't know that, but besides my Grandparents (who lived in Ohio and Florida and funerals I didn't/couldn't attend) Liz is the first family member I've lost. So we had fun that night, but we knew what was ahead of us the next day.June 29th
June 30th
Liz's obituary was in the paper that morning. It's weird someone you love, and have so many memories with.....just a little black and white picture in the paper. They said nice things about her, but none of them can sum up who Liz truly was. The 30th was a Monday, and it was the day of her viewing. It started out like a normal Monday morning, except we all knew it wasn't normal. We all knew in a few hours we would be seeing someone we all loved lying in a coffin. We got showered, dressed and headed to NC where we knew we would be spending the rest of the day. After a brief visit with Mom and Dad, just to make sure Dad didn't need a ride to the funeral home, we headed to Liz's house.....I'll probably always call it that.....to see if her husband, Mark, needed help bringing any of the kids to the funeral home.
And then. It was time.
The viewing was scheduled for 2, and we were supposed to be there by 1:30. My Dad didn't want to go in and see her, and Arianna decided to stay out with him, as did my Uncle....but the rest of us slowly walked in when the funeral director led us into the room. Before we had gone there, and before we had gone to Liz's house, we had gone to Burger King (the same Burger King my Dad had managed for years, and that both Liz and Mark and worked at...I had worked there, some of their kids had worked there....BK is like family), and I had stuffed some tissue from there in my pocket, just in case I needed it.... When we walked into that small room...I couldn't help but notice that there were several boxes of Kleenex in the room...I don't know why I hadn't thought that they provide them... At first, all of us kind of crowded around one another. Marks sister, Debra, almost demanded that the kids go and look at Liz ("Kids....go and look at your Mother."), and I could see how distressed they all were and quickly said, "I think we need to let them go up when they're ready, and not force them." and I could almost hear the relief in Marks voice when he said, "I think that's a good idea...." So slowly, after several more seconds, we all went up, almost together. I kinda hung back at first; I wanted to make sure I was right there for my nieces and nephews if they needed someone to cling to and cry. A few of them did. But then finally, I did go up and really look. She looked so peaceful, like she was sleeping. There was a band-aid on her right hand, I don't know why...maybe she had had it there, maybe it was hiding something...I guess I'll never know. Her nails were painted an almost peach color. She had her glasses on. I guess I had thought maybe her hands would be on her stomach, resting like that....but maybe that's just in the movies. Her hands were down by her side, but slightly touching her hips. Her daughter Madison and I probably looked at her the most. There were a lot of tears in that room, a lot of hugs. When we all finally walked out together, I had almost forgotten that Arianna was here. I had been so consumed with seeing my sister.
I honestly don't remember too much what happen the rest of the evening. We went to my parents for a bit, left and went to Meghan's. They went swimming, but since I hadn't planned on that, I hadn't brought anything for myself (though Arianna was lucky because I had brought something for her.)
July 1st
June 24th, up until 9:30pm, Liz was alive, she was fine. She was probably laughing, probably taking pictures. She was breathing and she was here on this Earth, alive. Kevin and I had been making plans for the coming up week. We wanted to see the new Transformers movie, and and decided we would go on Monday, June 30th. His Grandma Novak's birthday is July 1st, so we were trying to figure out if his dad and and brother wanted to celebrate the weekend before, or the weekend after, since they both worked on Tuesday. But instead, that Monday I was sitting in Hendersonville..... And exactly a week after Kevin and I sat on the couch thinking about what we were going to do, life decided for me. I was going to be in North Carolina.
Tuesday morning, Teri and her husband Paul came down and arrived at Meghan's house about 5:30 in the morning. They went to sleep immediately, and I decided to stay up, take a shower, do my nails and think about the day. By 9 that morning, Meghan, Arianna and myself found ourselves once again making that hour long trip to Hendersonville. I don't remember there being a lot of talking. The mood was very somber....we just listened to music and quietly made our way to my parents nursing home. As we were getting close them, randomly on Meghan's phone (hooked up to the car's system) Tonic's, "If you could only see", which, has always reminded me of Liz. (Back in '97, when she and I were BFF's, I was staying the night at her house, sleeping soundly on the couch when she woke me up, almost sounding in a panic.. I sat up quick and asked what was wrong, "Nothing, who sings this song?") and I couldn't help but cry. Liz was gone. She's gone.
Our Uncle Norman, his wife Stephanie and our cousin Nicole had flown in from Miami the night before, so we were looking forward to seeing them. Actually, though I knew it was a funeral, there were a lot of people I was looking forward to seeing, that I hadn't seen in years.
Meghan was extremely anxious all morning, and didn't want to stay at my parents place for long. She took me to Taco Bell so I could get Arianna and I something to eat, and then we headed to Liz's house to see what was going. The funeral started at 2...well, the visitation started at 2...the funeral actually started at 4, and we needed to be there at 1:30. We followed behind Mark and some of the kids, heading towards their church. The church and scenery was beautiful. I wish I had taken pictures of it. The inside of the church was beautiful. Our parents, Aunts and Uncles (both of them) were already there. So it was time....
Though my Dad had said several times he didn't want to see Liz, he surprised me and sat at the second row, and while he didn't get up and stare down at her, he did see her. So many people came to see her. People from Burger King I hadn't seen in years...I was completely surprised to see my Dads old boss come....Mark and Liz's church isn't very close...they had to drive out of the way to get there, but they came. There was an old man there, I recognized him, but it's been almost 12 years since I worked at BK...I couldn't remember...but they call him Susie... I remember turning around to see something, watching him sit there alone, wiping his tears away. I still regret not going over there and hugging me. Something else that I'll probably never forgot is seeing a man with reddish hair and crazy eyebrows...he looked so familiar, but I figured he was just someone I had known when I was a kid and couldn't think of his name. When he turned around..the look of sadness on his face...the way he shook his head sadly. It's just something I feel like I'm never going to forget. But on that day, it almost made me cry. I had said something to Meghan about his crazy eyebrows, because I was afraid if I sat there and replayed that image in my head I was going to cry. Maybe about 10 minutes later Teri came over with him (She had been there for awhile, but because Paul was uncomfortable with funerals, they sat in the back) and introduced him as her Uncle Bill. I don't think I had ever met him before, but he still seemed so familiar; maybe he reminded me of Liz, or Teri...I don't know. At 3:45, Deb asked if I wanted to leave because they were going to close the coffin. She said this part always bothered her, and she was taking the kids out into the main entrance until 4. I told her I would be fine...but honestly, I didn't know how I would react. It was my first time seeing anything like that. So I sat there next to my Dad on my right, with my Mom next to him, and with my cousin Nicole to my left, with her Dad next to her. And together we watched Liz's coffin lid slowly close, and then she was gone.
The service was beautiful. They sang beautifully...the lady singing was holding a baby in a wrap against her, and I don't know why, but it reminded me of the scene in Sweet Home Alabama, when she goes to her hometown bar, sees her old bestfriend and says, "Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar." But man, could she sing. I sat there, thinking about everything...and the fact that these people maybe had plans for that Tuesday. But there they were, singing so beautifully for Liz. The Pastor said some great things, and I was doing okay, until Mark got up to speak. It was so touching, I couldn't help but cry. After he was done, and the Pastor began to speak again, a man, not very old, maybe in his 20's said, "Excuse me Pastor...." and then began to talk about Liz, and said some of the nicest things.
After the service was over, and everyone but family and close friends had left, we headed down and ate a dinner that people provided for us, which again, was so sweet and nice. A bunch of casserole like dishes, but they were really good. A lot of laughs were had down there. I sat with Teri and Paul, close to Meghan and everyone else. Meghan just wanted to head home after all of this, and even though I had planned on staying the night with Ashely and his wife Jonathan, buuuut, I've been wanting to get a tea set of Arianna's for a while, and Erin, who had it in her garage, FINALLY was bringing it to Meghan's house, so I went back to Meghan's....which was fine, because Teri and Paul were going there too, so instead of going home with my Aunt and Uncle, I was going to go with Teri and Paul.
That night at Meghan's, while they hung out with Erin for awhile, I went through some of the stuff they had brought over. I was beyond happy when I saw that in the box was the Mickey Mouse Carousal that Meghan and I have had since we were kids. I had wanted that too. I found some of my Moms stuff that I was able to clean and bring for her (a doll her Uncle gave her in the 70's, a couple of her Jeff Gordon deco plates and a Jeff Gordon car) I also got all of my Moms old albums, and her 45 records, which I have wanted to have since I was a kid. I washed Arianna's tea set until they looked new, and after that, Erin left. We had fun hanging out, especially when we brought the pool table that her roommate Daniel had bought....
July 2nd
Meghan had to work that morning, so Teri, Paul, Arianna and I were on our own. Teri had said she didn't plan on leaving until Wednesday night, so on the one hand, I was bummed because I was looking forward to getting home to seeing my little Sarah, but on the other, I was so relieved to be able to see my parents for a little bit before we left, since I hadn't really got to visit them much. After a really nice visit with my parents, Teri wanted to go see Mark and the kids before we headed out.
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| My Aunt Ann actually took this picture, but I really like it lol |
And then after that, we left. Leaving was so hard. I've never wanted to stay somewhere more in my life, but I missed my Sarah. We left around 5:30, and finally got to Teri's house around 3:30 in the morning.
July 3rd - until......
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